Are we going to turn into our parents?

For all the girls out there who sat and watched The Breakfast Club like a thousand just like me, know the one question the brought those very different kids together. Are we going to turn into our parents? Is it inevitable? Tomorrow in my INQ class I’m going to learn about how parenting styles affects kids. Adriana’s group picked this topic for a class discussion and assigned a lot of articles for the discussion.

I read one of the four articles that interested me. The Four Styles of Parenting explained, well, the four different styles of parenting and general affects they have on the kids. According to the article the four parenting styles are: authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting, permissive parenting, and uninvolved parenting. Authoritarian parents set rules and goals for their kids that have to be followed. If asked questions about their rules, the answer is usually “because I said so.” The kids are also punished if a rule is broken. The kids often grow up to be obedient and proficient, but are also rather unhappy and have low social skills and self-esteem. Authoritative parents are much like authoritarian parents in the way that they both set expectations for their kids. The difference is that authoritative parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than enforcing punishment when rules are broken. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. The kids often grow up to be happy, capable, and successful. Permissive parents are pushovers. They don’t set rules or expectations for their children, and while generally nurturing and communicative, they often take the role as friend rather than parent. The kids often grow up to be unhappy and have low self-regulation. They might have problems with authority and do poorly in school. Uninvolved parents are pretty self-explanatory. These parents often only fulfill the kids’ basic needs. The kids often lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers.

Enough with the boring stuff, (I think I proved I read the article), and back to the cool stuff, The Breakfast Club. That’s one question this article did not answer. So do we inevitably become our parents? I know I don’t want to be like either my mom or my dad, and you all would be lying if you said that you like everything about your parents. But at the same times, there are things about both of them that I admire and wish I could be more like. So, no, I don’t think it is inevitable that you become your parents, but I believe you have to learn from who they are and how they raised you, to become the person you want to be. I think you can pick and choose from examples given to from your parents and other people, to become who you want be. It’s going to take some work, but you don’t have to be like your parents because and 80’s movie said it is inevitable, but if you were so lucky to get awesome parents and want to be exactly like them, then so be it.